We're not talking the dark night of the soul, or the dark side of the moon, or anything like that, but I noticed I have not written here since just before the elections last November. Eight months ago. I need to fix that.
I realized this morning that if I live to be 80, I have 22 more years to fill between now and then. Even 70 gives me about 4300 days to fill with something interesting and worthwhile. When I was younger, I never expected to make it past 40 years old, since my own mother had died at 40. When that milestone came (and went), I had three children under the age of eight. I didn't have time to wonder how much longer I might live or how I would fill my time. My motto then was "the revolution will have to wait until the laundry is done."
The youngest child is in college now, and they can all pretty much take care of themselves. (They don't always do it, but they can.) My 40 year high school reunion is this fall, and some of my friends will be attending as retirees. I feel a pressing need to get back to being "me" again, instead of mother and wife, employee, and other roles I have occupied over the past years. Some days this feels like a real archeological dig! Other days a sudden insight will come when I do something that reminds me of something I once loved. "Yes! YES! This is part of the essential me!"
Stay tuned. I think this might get interesting.
Loraine
