Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Motivation Is Not Enough

Let me say this up front: I am generally in favor of positive sayings, words of encouragement, motivational posters, inspirational quotes, and that whole genre of communication. That still leaves me room for having an unintended reaction to some of them, and hiding some from my Facebook newsfeed.

Here's my problem. Some of these aphorisms ignore reality. I can want to wake up a foot taller than I am, and pray for it, and generate positive intention toward it, but as an adult of my species that isn't going to happen. I can be very motivated to become a professional football player, and even take steps that would lead to that goal for someone else, but the entire goal would be a delusion for me, being my age and size and never having watched an entire football game, ever.

My point is that motivation is not enough. Working toward your goal is not enough. Both are totally required if you want to accomplish something, but the key is a realistic goal. The first hard work to be done is determining if your goal is realistic for you.

If you choose a goal that is not realistic, you stand a strong chance of failure. Sometimes those failures make you stronger and wiser for the next goal; other times they drain your resources (financial, mental, emotional, social, and other) and leave you with little to show for it. Crossing the Grand Canyon on a tightrope is a spectacular example of a goal that is not realistic for most of us, but worked out well for one person. That person used talent, training, and a host of specific skills and resources in order to realize his goal.

Here's my other problem with some of these motivational aphorisms. Not all people have big goals, or even want them. Some people are quite content to get through the day doing what they have to do (income, housework, etc.), working well with others, and enjoying whatever the day offers them (sunrise, sunset, a favorite song on the radio, wine with a friend, whatever makes them happy). Positive sayings should not make them feel wrong for not having big goals and dreams. We are not all on the same journey, and even those who are may not be at the same point in that journey. You may be ready to fly while I am still gluing my wings together and building arm strength to use them. We can encourage each other without judging each other to be wrong for choosing different goals.

Here's your homework.
  • Stop judging others for having no visible goals, or for having very ambitious goals. You are not the GPS for someone else's journey.
  • "Encouragement" should give someone courage to keep trying, not make them feel bad about their choices or their circumstances. Your words carry weight, so use them wisely.
  • When choosing your own goals, remember that realistic and easy are not the same thing. Some goals are very hard to achieve; they take great amounts of effort and time, but they are still realistic if you choose to invest that time and effort.

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